May 6, 2023

I am sitting nearby MIT, in Kendall Square, under the sun, in the first nice day after around five days of raining. There is around 28°, little wind, and the sun feels good. Before, I ran with Valerie at the gym, and that makes me feel good too.

A few days ago my phone reminded me of that day I spent with Rada, after that party I got drunk at. The day was as nice as this one, and we spent almost the whole day together, walking and just spending time together.

It arose to my mind the story I read yesterday, The Letter, where the character is thinking and having thoughts that are (quoting from memory) “nice, warm, sad thoughts — of the kind you can spend the rest of your life having”, and I think that is beautiful. I need not know anything about the character or the story for that sentence to touch me; not all of us have those thoughts that we can have for the rest of our lives, and, also, what precise adjectives: nice, warm, sad. The three of them together at the same time and under no contradiction.

That arose to my mind because, while thinking of the day with Rada, I thought of that time when you eat a delicious meal, and you eat enough that you are perfectly satisfied, but you don't eat too much so that you feel uncomfortable after, and your belly is thankful to you, and even you feel thankful to yourself, for such royal treatment, and the day is nice and everything is just so good. That day with Rada has that feeling, only that the meal is Rada and the belly is my soul.

I cried, after thinking that, because the image is true, and accurate.

I thought, after, of that view of love as the only think that grows to the inside, and how, at the same time, when we feel love all we want to do is to share it.